24 May 2010

The Lord Will Provide


And Abraham called the name of the place, The-LORD-Will-Provide; as it is said to this day, “In the Mount of the LORD it shall be provided.” -Gen. 22:14


God provided so perfectly for us
from the start when Mom went in to the doctor after not feeling Isaac move, to find out that he had turned breech without her knowing. Providence gave us only one option - a C-section, and likely the only delivery Isaac could have survived. He was with us for 12 days, confounding all predictions of the doctors!

The Lord was all over the details, though He didn't let us get a glimpse of how He would work beforehand. Even in little things like my Canon T2i camera; I didn't realize the store was out of stock when I ordered it on April 1st. When I found out, I prayed the Lord would deliver it before He delivered Isaac, and that I’d have time to learn how to use it. It arrived 2 days before Isaac did!


There are so many other ways our Heavenly Father provided for us, but I'll list just a few here. The Monday after Isaac was born, a perky energetic nurse (one of our favorites - Hi Katie :) came back to work. During her weekend, she watched the Today Show, which she informed us she never watches. And on that Today Show was the story of baby Eliot who had Trisomy, and his video called 99 balloons. It is a beautiful short-film that the Lord sent along to meet us right where we were at. And leave it to Katie to make the doctors watch it too! (Thanks!) It touched all of us.

Another provision that meant so much to me happened the last evening we had with Isaac. I had bought a chocolate birthday cake to celebrate Isaac’s 11th day birthday. It was late and we were getting ready to take turns on the night shifts, but I wanted to get a picture of Isaac and his cake. We were so tired, Dad was ready for everyone to go to bed, but the reality that another chance may never arrive prompted us to do it. I’m so glad the Lord let me get some pictures that night, because a second chance never came.




Mom accidentally dipped him in the cake. :)


Providence was as steadfast as the trials each day brought, and God gave us so much to be thankful for. He gave us more time than anyone thought we would have with Isaac. He gave us nurses we felt comfortable with, who we appreciated and trusted. He guided my parents through decisions, and made many of them for us. He never gave us more than we could bear at the time, as my Dad said, "If anyone would have told us beforehand what we would go through, we would have said 'impossible.' But with God, all things are possible." He truly gave us the strength and grace we needed for each day, no more and no less.




He provided for us through our church fellowship, family, and friends. (You know who you are, and we thank God for how you ministered to us, and were such a witness of the true body of Christ to those looking on!) They visited us, brought beautiful flowers, cards, and wonderful homemade dinners to the hospital, which after the cafeteria food, we really enjoyed! Some friends of my parents who have walked down a similar road flew all the way from Virginia to be with us for a week during Isaac’s life. It was the most selfless thing I've ever seen, and we were so humbled and grateful for their strengthening presence and godly wisdom.




Our family's prayer through this was that God would be glorified, and that we would be testimony of His awesome power and all-sufficient grace, and that those looking on would see Him. We wanted Him to swoop down and rescue us, run away with Isaac and save him, show Himself victorious for all to see. He answered our prayers. The way He answered them was different than we in our humanness imagined, but we know it is far far better than our biggest imaginations could have fathomed. We know this because He is good. He scooped Isaac up in His strong arms, ran off with him to Heaven and saved him in the most ultimate way possible. He made sure we could never claim sufficiency in ourselves, and He carried us as we carried Isaac for 12 days. We know it could only be Him getting the glory, because we are so weak. His strength alone is made perfect in weakness, and His grace is sufficient! Praise the name of the Lord!

The Lord provided in all these ways through the prayers of His people. At Isaac's memorial celebration my Dad spoke and listed all the different places we knew prayers were being poured out for us - Indiana, Florida, Alberta, Virginia, Idaho, Minnesota, Wyoming, Texas, British Columbia, Arizona, etc...Dad told Isaac many times he must be the most prayed-for boy in the world. We are so humbled and grateful beyond words for your thoughts and prayers, brothers and sisters!

Thank you.

23 May 2010

Isaac Samuel Triumph King



My littlest brother Isaac would have been one month old today.

He left us for heaven 18 days ago…it seems like a moment since, and yet it feels like ages of the earth have rolled past like the tears down our cheeks. God only gave us 12 days with him here. Soul-trying days. Sweet days. Days I wouldn’t have missed for the world.


Let me backtrack to where I left off...

I don't know who may read this, or if you are experiencing something similar, but if you or someone you know is going down this road, please take what we have learned to heart...

We knew we were up against a lot just with the fact that my little brother had Trisomy 18, but also because the medical community does not value life as we do. They do not see every person, no matter how small or "incompatible with life" as bearing the image of God. Life is sacred because humanity in all it's forms since the birth of mankind is stamped with Imago Dei, even if it is a marred image. And that's what my parents fought to defend. But we got weary; we didn't catch things that now looking back, we ache to change. The day we moved out of the NICU and into a hospital family room, Mom caught them ordering Isaac off his heart meds. My parents stopped that, but they didn't catch that without consulting us the doctors also decided to not give Isaac the protein and lipids in his glucose/electrolytes IV. Instead of seeing Isaac's value and personhood as long as his life endured, they saw a sick baby that was going to die soon anyway. Mom realized this a week later, and we thankfully were able to have a feeding tube put in him. He would fuss before feeding, eagerly suck away at his little pacifier during, and get comfortably sleepy afterwards. We are still heartbroken and sick when we think of him not getting the nourishment he needed for those days... So PLEASE question everything, stay on your toes, and let them know that you are the one to call the shots.

When we moved into the family room, Isaac left his heart rate/breathing monitor in the NICU. We asked if we could have a monitor, so it would alert us if we were sleeping and he had an apnea bout. The doctor couldn't understand why we would even care. There were no monitors for Isaac available to take into our room, so we became monitors for him. Since we couldn't bring him home, we brought home to him. For the next eight days, we older kids stayed at the hospital with Mom and Dad, and Isaac never left our arms for more than 5 minutes. Around the clock, for around the next 200 hours, we cuddled heaven. We lost sleep, but it is a small thing to miss when holding eternity for a few moments in time.






Who knew the eternal imprint those beautiful, fleeting clubbed feet could leave on our aching hearts.
We miss him so much. We miss cuddling him, the weight of his baby self in our arms, speaking Psalms to him and saying “I love you”. I miss slipping my finger into his clenched fist and feeling his grasp, kissing his head and that sweet baby smell of new life.











God took Isaac Home from the hospital on May 5th under a peaceful sky rosy with sunrise. Our little lamb went straight from Mom’s arms to the everlasting arms of the Good Shepherd.

But we are thankful. How could we not be when the Lord proved Himself so strong, faithful and gracious on our behalf? He showed us that it wasn’t Isaac’s heart that needed healing, it was ours. And He is giving us healing, sanctifying and purifying us through the swift arrival and departure of Isaac Samuel Triumph King.




Now thanks be to God, who always leads us in TRIUMPH in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. - 2 Cor. 2:14


The Lord did answer our prayers to heal Isaac - even if it wasn’t in the way we in our short-term vision sought.
Through Christ's triumph over the grave, Isaac has triumphed! No more tape, no more tubes, no more poking for IVs. Isaac is free.

And the Lord will continue to free us as we walk this long road with empty arms. It’s a good thing we walk by faith and not sight, because we wouldn’t be able to see where we’re going through the tears sometimes.
We don't know all the "whys" of God's ways, but He has revealed 3 promises we can cling to: that this is for God's glory, for Isaac's good, and for our own good. Though it's hard to see through the fog of our short-sightedness, His promises remain as good and solid as the road beneath our feet, stretching on around the bend.

O fill us, Lord, with dauntless love;
Set heart and will on things above
That we conquer through Thy triumph,
Grant grace sufficient for life’s day
That by our life we ever say,
“Christ hath triumphed, and He liveth!”
Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia!

-from "Now Let the Vault of Heaven Resound"


One Day, we’ll hold Isaac’s hand again,
perfectly healed, and all around will be the fragrance of New Life under an eternal sky. The King will make all things right, wipe away every tear, and we will live and reign with Him forever!





We’ll carry you in our hearts until then, Isaac.

~Audrey, Isaac's big sister